#almostcricket, at the stadium

Reasons that intrigue and amuse me when people want to match at the stadium

• Can you even see the ball?

• You have to walk half a mile to use a dirty, public washroom in the middle of a match (and it’s at that moment the ‘moment’ of the match will occur)

• You have to ‘pretend’ that it was ‘still’ a good game even when your team loses the game (for you made the effort), even as you spend forever entering and exiting the stadium, and even as you have to sit really close to someone, who insists on waving the flag, each time he feels the camera is on him… (more on this, later)

• You are hungry and have to now eat ‘something’ cold and stale and pay five times the price for the something. You have to declare that at least there was alcohol and that the lukewarm nonsense in the plastic cup made it up for all.

• You have a clean washroom, air-conditioning, order-in delivery apps, and alcohol at home. You can see the ball (and even pause and rewind the match, in case someone has to pee).

• You save money and time (You have an entertainer app and eateries desperate to serve you the same stuff that they did last week but insist that there is now a special buy one and get one offer for you and the dudes)

• The TV crew only focuses on the ones with painted faces (is this a kindergarten birthday party), the ones wearing wigs (is this a carnival), or the Bollywood wives (is too late to change that now) — and you are just another dude in a jersey with another 10,000 dudes in a jersey

• You can get excited over making multiple plans on how the next time you should all go together to watch the match (when you know that it is one of those plans)

• You can actually watch, and discuss the match and have an upper hand over those who somehow made it to the stadium but can’t regret the decision, officially

Conversations I’ve heard before people head to watch a match at the stadium

• I know someone, who knows someone’s cousin, who is friends with someone…who I can call to get the tickets

• Did you manage to get the tickets?

• Oh come on, let’s just buy it — “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, bro.”

• What time should we leave?

• There really should be a way to online check-in than arrive two hours before the match

• What is the parking situation?

• Should we have left earlier than this (staring at the ‘red’ in Google Maps)?

Regrets I’ve heard from people who’ve watched a match at the stadium

• We lost

• They won

• Only if it were a better game

• Wish we’d not stayed until the end of the game, we would have avoided the traffic logjam

• It was such a long walk from the parking lot to the stadium

• The tickets were so expensive

• The food was horrible

Why are match-watchers (is that a real word) still on espncricinfo.com when the match is unfolding right in front of their eyes? Can they not see the empire, the ball…and not hear the commentator either?

Reasons match-watchers insist one should still go to a match at a stadium

• The feeling at a stadium is really different, the atmosphere makes up for it all

• The big scoreboard is what counts

• When everyone unites over a moment nothing comes close to that

• It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity

A hashtag I thought I'd never use

#cricketlife

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• Number of World Cups I’ve missed in my lifetime: 12

• The names of cricketers I knew before I got married

P.S.: I hope to write for 17 days until the CWC 2023 kickstarts, so if you want to suffer (with me) keep coming back here for daily doses of what for now and for the lack of a better name I am calling my #notaboutcricket project, #almostcricket. If you’re into the LIKE, SHARE, and SUBSCRIBE to the FREE PLAN (damn!!) way of living then, of course, you can do that too. I also accept gift cards, just saying. Reach me at hello@purvagrover.com.